🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?